My Little Pony: Magic Is Fiendish
Aura's Spell Book
The “Standard” Book of Spells, Grade 3
Replace Your Divots – compress a circle of radius 20’ and depth 20’ into the ground, creating a pit without actually excavating anything; area springs back into place when the spell ends, freeing occupants by ejecting them into the air.
Breshears’s Asymptotic Field – Incoming projectiles must obey Xeno’s paradox.
Excellent Prismatic Spray – Instantly slays anything smaller than a whale with a thousand fiery wires.
Elegant Volcano – A very well-behaved expulsion of pressurized lava from a rent in space-time.
Illusory Moon – Provides light equivalent to moonlight.
Textile Charge – Runs an electric charge through the outer layers of a garment; ideal for dealing with grapples.
Reluctant Panel – Bar a door, window, cabinet, or other thing designed to open and close.
Curt Dictum – Give someone a one-word order and have a reasonable expectation that it’ll be carried out. “Freeze,” “vomit,” “jump,” “shoot,” et cetera.
Prolific Forestation – Impels rampant plant growth, specializing in thorns, carnivores, and poisonous saps.
Aboriginal Phraseology – Causes aphasia: the target hears nonsense, and speaks it, but thinks they are speaking normally, interfering with spell casting and giving orders.
Blissful Tentacle – A languid tentacle emerges from a sudden tear in space-time and immobilizes someone by simply weighing too much to move.
Furious Squirrel – Don’t know, but hilarious.
Infernal Reserve – Transform the contents of a bottle, canteen, or other small container of liquid into something hellishly volatile, such as 100-year-old nitroglycerine.
Persuasive Pebble – Makes any tiny object appear as an imposing weapon for purposes of intimidation.
Utmost Retrogression – Transforms someone into a baby for an hour.
Echo Omission – Prevents sound from echoing off surrounding walls, floors, et cetera without impeding the echoes necessary to hear; essentially keeps sound from traveling.
Straightforward Cadaver – Transforms any corpse, such as that of a demon or basilisk, into something that will mesh into whatever milieu the body is in, thus preventing some odd questions.
Identical Placebo – A shoddy copy of an item; it functions exactly like the real thing, but only one time: presumably enough to pass authenticity tests. (Astute players [to say nothing of GMs] will recognize the potential of this spell to replicate the capabilities of doomsday weapons, should they be on-hoof.)
Hellish Collapse – Causes a building or other structure to explode as all its fasteners (rivets, nails, welds) are transformed into explosives and set off.
Incidental Aquarium – Need a pool from which to fish for supper, test a witch, waterboard an enemy agent, or get someone wet in an arctic climate? This is your spell.
Equable Carmine – Marks the target with a bright red blot on their forehead or other prominent body part (also works on cave walls, et cetera) that doesn’t wash off.
Dietetic Reservoir – Fills a container with food.
Silvery Antipode – Creates a mirror-surfaced doppelgänger of someone that does… what? Don’t know.
Incontrovertible Solitude – Transports the target to the exact opposite side of the planet from the caster, and keeps it there.
Bottom Walk – Walk underwater without having to worry about floating to the surface, or on the underside of an overhang/ceiling.
Ominous Anachronism – Allows a weapon or other device to work for a short time no matter where it is in shadow.
Intangible Withdrawal – Become insubstantial; useful for escaping grapples or escaping through shrubbery or other barriers with interstices.
Inviolate Organ – Prevents one piercing/crushing of a vital organ, such as from a sword thrust or bullet.
Harsh Normalcy – Inflict order on chaotic processes, such as shapeshifting, Logrus use, or Primal Chaos.
Maritime Hill – Don’t know, but sounds amusing.
Fugitive Leeway – Creates a one-way, one-person, one-use exit.
Abrasive Form – Shark scales cut up grapplers (and clothing).
Respiratory Neglect – Target forgets to breathe unless ordered to do so, or falls unconscious.
Promiscuous Multiplication – Anyone picking up the targeted object is burned (so he drops it) and the object makes eight copies of itself that also burn and multiply. (Thank you, JK Rowling.)
Contradictory Sobriety – Passes alcohol through the digestive system as water, preventing intoxication.
Addled Ancestry – Makes an animal trust the caster as though he were its mother.
Fickle Expulsion – Propels a certain individual, or class of individuals, from an area while leaving the rest of the population and furnishing untouched. Get as creative as you like.
Hereditary Retrogression – Transform someone into his or her mother or father, at least as far as appearance and voice.
The GM put these spells in the book
Taverner’s Historical Provenance – Learn the chain of custody attached to a particular object, possibly as far back as its creation.
Buckminster’s Virginal Restoration – This takes the standard unicorn spell Charm of Vaginal Refreshment to a whole new (and cringing level) that might (or might not) include abortion of a fetus. Ask the GM to elaborate.
Your guess is as good as mine for any of the following:
Agency of Prudent Analysis