My Little Pony: Magic Is Fiendish

Lich Madness

May 25, 2019
[Offstage voice] So, HurryUp, who’s your maid of honor? “Aurora, of course”. Aurora is looking in the mirror and is wearing the most hideous seafoam green and blood red trim dress. “Is the veil ready?” ‘Of course it is.” Autumn looks in (her dress matches Aura’s) “Are we ready to line up yet?” They line up for the procession. There is a mostly black stallion waiting at the front of the Community Hall. HurryUp’s grandma is officiating. Later in the cemetary (at the reception), Joneigh is watching Tom in the band. Prow Lee is drunk, after being one of the groomsmen… “6000 of nothing and then here is a tux be there at noon!” he is grumbling. Another groomsmen is Agent Ayyyyaaaa who was confused… except HurryUp Ann… ok.

The happy couple is having their first dance. One of HurryUp’s cousins is carrying Caviar’s skull around on a pillow (he was a groomsmen). A bolt of black eldrich enery comes out of nowhere… aimed at HurryUp, but misses and hits the cousin and skull. On the other side of the room is a skeletal unicorn tries to take HurryUp’s ring “Ahha! The fifth bit and I can become Deathless instead of YOU… hahahahahaha!” Aura blasts her; she misses and hits a random pony in the crowd. Sonny also shoots and hits the skeletal unicorn and Jimmy bucks the punch bowl and hits her too. The ring pops off, hob tries to catch it but it bounces off, Autumn misses and Joneigh tries, but it is too slippery… and then Jimmy reaches and catches it! [Does that mean that Jimmy is married to the Dark Stallion?].

Everyone realizes they have had a nightmare. Autumn and Joneigh are discussing theirs and the ‘blood on the swamp’ dresses. Floating in the window: “Hideous dress!” from Aura during her morning run. Caviar complains he was disintegraged before seeing the wedding night. HurryUp says ‘Wedding night’. Sonny is running to see if Sweet Grass is still alive (the one that got disintegated in the dream), get destracted by the screaming from HurryUp’s room. Caviar is still upset, Sonny says I saw it too.

There is a knocking at Autumn’s door, Moonbeam opens it – it is Autumn McKorn. “You are late, Autumn Gallery!” “For what?” “Maze training!” She has a smokey bear hat on that says Corn Maze Sergeant. They have been practicing raising a maze. Autumn apologizes to her and calls for Bone and Flame and goes out. Joneigh and Shucks have been devising cloud cover for the maze and cloud eels and lighning! Next Autumn McCorn goes to find HurryUp. Aura goes looking for Egg White to ask for a spell of invisibility. He is working with Autumn McKorn set up where the pits should go in the Maze. She asks and explains that she wants to shoot pegasuseseses without being noticed…erm attacked. Then he disappears mid blink.

“Can you do that again, but more slowly?” His voice comes from 5 different places “You said whatever I am hiding behind will disappear eventually, so what am I hiding behind.” “The Air.” “Interesting guess.” “I can not be noticed, but and don’t be insulted, but I don’t think you can NOT be noticed.” He starts showing her how to increase what she really is good at… being noticed.” Found a note on HurryUp’s flank “I’m still reading the pre-nup your lawyer sent. I thought Grits McKorn retired years ago!” Grits hands her a letter, telling her that HE was informed to negotiate through him. She asks how to get the rest of the 4/5ths of the things to become Deathless. The note shows up saying that he isn’t sure that SHE would be willing to give up the periapts on her body. Another note… “I strongly advise that you don’t agree to this.” The note is offering her a ‘trump’ cad for direct dial. “What’s this gonna cost me?” “Trust me.” “I don’t! And you shouldn’t trust me, either. I don’t tell anyone that!” “Very well, I will wait until I finish reading and sign the Pre-Nup.”

Zero Fail steps into the middle of the swamp and unveils himself and then Prow Lee steps up next to him, snapping huge claws appear… “You don’t think I’m going to let you do this alone, did you?” Then Zero Fail pulls the big flaming sword out. In the far distance there is an aurora in pinks and blues with flashes of blue. A cold wind blows and a shadow seems to pass over the stars and moon for just a moment.

The skeleton pony appears at the opposite side of the swamp, with 9 undead unicorn and 9 undead earth ponies around her… and in the air 9 undead pegasuses. “Zero Fail, how nice to see you again.” “No the words I would use.” She asks if they are just their to hide the chained book and that annoying Windsmoth pony that has been wandering around her. Zero Fail replies that it couldn’t be left with someone who could be harmed by it.

Black eldrich energy flares out.

The maze starts to burst forth from the earth and then Joneigh casts storm magic to create clouds and lightning. There is a funny noise and a very large cork flies across the field and bounces off the nose of the skeletal pony’s nose. Corn is bursting up around the minion ponies and the skeletal pony looks to where the cork came from and fires in that direction. Aurora notices that it is Hob with a blunderbuss that shoots corks. Aurora grabs the cork with levitation and hurls it at the lich pony’s horn again.

Jimmy makes a part of the Maze up in front of the bolt of black and BOOM there is black popcorn everywhere. Autumn tried to send a pit/crack toward Her, but didn’t take swampy into the mix. Aurora’s spell only hits her in the side of the face. “Oh it is the wannabe princess.” The undead pegasuses have been surprised by the cloud eels and lightning and are screaming.

Egg White is attacking the undead unicorn/earth ponies in different areas of the Maze… and then there is ptttf and bones fly up. Another cork flies at the lich and hits her shoulder, Borealis shoots at her the same time as Aurora an she flinches as they fly by and explode a tree behind her.

HurryUp is sneakying up behind the skeletal pony in readiness to rob her. She remembers that in the Nightmare that when she was dancing, she noticed a book with Joneigh. “How come I didn’t notice the title of that before: How to use Periapts?”

Jimmy, Autumn G and her sisters are setting up boulders for him to buck at the undead ponies. One hits the thing trying to attack Prow Lee and Zero Fail… boooosh. The skeletal pony is getting angry and a wall of energy roils out from her… it is drying out the mud of the swamp and the corn maze. Autumn tries to make a crack or pit, but misses her and a few cracks show up in the ground around her. Sunny takes aim and fires a Fireball over the corn, under the cloud cover at the Lich (skeletal pony). “It’s just chaff charge through it.” The fireball, lightning and Aura’s levitated cork all fly at the Lich at once and all hit her as another cork flies by from Hob and a Borealis blast misses her. Aurora realizes that Hob’s cork and Borealis’ blast should have hit, but something deflects it. HurryUp notices when the lich is lit up by the lightning & fireball that inside her goo sees a crescent moon, a drain cover, a bucket of water and a glittering spear floating about inside her.

A note appears on Sunny’s nose “More fire, I am running out of popcorn.”

HurryUp is trying to pickpocket ALL peripapts. Sunny is shooting again, Jimmy & Autumn are bucking boulders, Joneigh is sending rain, Aurora is telekenisising the cork to stay on the lich’s horn, Hob shoots another cork and there is a sweep of energy at fetlock level. All of it hits her as the shield goes out of control and spins about her. Suddendly HurryUp is staggering and a golden unicorn horn grew instantly from her forehead, Then wings spring forth from her in black feathers and she hears three voices in her head all telling her what she can do now. HurryUp says “Shut up, you’re not the voice of me!”

“That is a little loud, ice it down,” says Aurora.

Wings flap and HurryUp rises up in the air. She is arguing with the voices in her head. New voice in her head is agreeing with the other not being the boss of her and says “Tell me what you want.” A beam of golden sunlight flows from the golden horn around the boulder to the Lich. “What I want is complete control of myself.” Then the horn and the wings fall off and something falls out of her and now she is falling because Gravity.

Aurora tries to catch them all up on a big tele-ball. Joneigh dive-bombs down to catch HurryUp. Borealis and Sunny both try to catch HurryUp or the stuff. As well, Aurora caught the three items. Now she is glowing really, really, REALLY bright. Her horn has golden trim wrapped around it. Wings spring from her back and now she has 4 voices speaking to her in her head. She seems to be cackeling. Two of the voices sound familar to her… like Celestia and HurryUp, the others don’t sound familiar. “Somebody is bossing YOU around!?!” [In HurryUp’s voice.] The others pop up – storm voice, Celestia voice, and then “So, what do you want.” voice. More arguing, with Aurora wants them to go away and not bother any other pony.

The Lich rises up from the ground, the corks are off her horn. “I can’t believe you are all still alive.” “I stole your stuff! And you didn’t even try to stop me.” Then she ninja vanishes as Lich tries to shoot her with eldritch energy. The wings have lifted Aurora of their own accord. Borealis has sent a tele-lasso to grab Aurora’s leg. “Don’t. Even you can’t handle this, it is too dangerous.” HurryUp’s voice says “Are you sure you want to tell Borealis it is TOO dangerous for him??”

Joneigh feels someone trying to pull control of the storm from she & her 3 friends, she fights back and makes the storm stronger.

Borealis hears someone yelling at him to fight the lich, someone else to protect his sister. “Leave my sister alone!” Aurora feels like she has been surrounded by a Borealis hug.

Hob is tying again to take out the Lich and re-corks her.

Aurora wants to go to the center of the Maze, and the wings say “Where shall we go?” So, she tele-lassos a boulder or stalk of corn to pull herself to the middle of the Maze. The HurryUp voice says “You know he has never hugged me this platonically before.” Celestia voice “Ah ha, good thinking!” Wings say “Zero Fail is here? He is still alive?” The male voice says “You can take control of where everything belongs.”

Aurora asks, “Where do they belong.”

“I belong in Hayseed Swamps, SHE (pegasus voice) belongs in the Salt Flats and SHE (unicorn voice) belongs back in the Pit and HurryUp belongs in all of us.”


Prow Lee and Zero Fail are still arguing if they got all the zomponies. Shucks drops down and says you got them all now go out there and points to the edges.

Aurora lands and asks Prow Lee how to pull something out of the Big Empty. In unison, Prow Lee and the male voice say at the same time, “You just ask the Big Empty.” Male voice says “I’m right here.” Zero Fail says “Picture it. Picture it and make it real.”

Something blobby hits the Lich in the face, a cornstock hits her in the fetlock and the earth ponies run her over.

HurryUp pickpockets the last of the periapts our of the her… and embraces it. She gets ghostly bat wings, a ghostly horn appears and she is covered in ghostly armor.. and she cackles just like the Mare in the Moon.

Prow Lee does this weird shudder and transforms into the Dark Stallion. “Push them out, you are you, Push Them OUT.” “You can do it you can do it!” says Borealis from around her. Suddenly three things fly out of Aurora and the Dark Stallion makes a grab for them… but misses. Two go into Shucks and one into Borealis. Shucks gets the golden horn and the wings, but isn’t cackling. “Well that is interesting.”

Dark Stallion says “WHAT!” A ghostly horn and wings appear on Borealis. “Well it has been a while since I had this many ponies inside me,” he says.

The Mare in the Moon’s voice in HurryUp’s head says you have to imprison her first – the unicorn horn from your friend Shuck’s head.” “No, I like her.” “I wanna go over there.” POP, and she is right next to the Dark Stallion. “I didn’t think armor was your thing, but now… hmm, how does it feel?”

HurryUp is trying to talk the Dark Stallion, flirting a bit, but letting him know she wants to do it only if it is HER decison, this voice in her head. Shucks and Borealis are talking back to the voices in her head. Dark Stallion looks to Zero Fail says “Tell him I’m sorry, I will stay in better contact and that he needs to help you protect them with the next step.” He looks to HurryUp and says “I know you will do the right thing, which isn’t the thing I would do.”

Zero Fail says to Autumn “Are you sure he signed the Pre-Nup?” “Yes!”

The Dark Stallion leaves Prow Lee, who cusses a bit and then Zero Fail tells him what DS said. “Wait right thing, oh. Who has the Sun Sphere (they point at Shucks) and hello third boss.” Prow Lee says to the Mare in the Moon “Will you cooperate with your host and take us there?” “We do need to put the Sun Sphere back where it belongs.” HurryUp lets the group know what was said and asks Prow Lee if that is what he meant. “Yes”. Zero Fail, Prow Lee, Shucks and HurryUp all vanish. “What? Of course I want to go.” then another POP and Borealis disappears. Joneigh dissapates the storm and lands by Autumn. She catches her up.

The possessed pop into an area surrounded by magma. Around the pool of magma there are other shelves and some have sculptures setting upon them. The next shelf over from where they are is a thing like a shiney metal sword, or maybe the magma light is making it shimmer or maybe it isn’t solid. On the other side is a stange collection of weird bits of different things and a wooden bead and a couple more changing things.

Zero Fail says “We have to figure out how to get the Sun Sphere out of Shucks.” “Raven Storm stole the Sun Sphere from right here.” “It goes right here, it is part of what chained the Oblivian.” The magma says “I am right here” in a voice like earthquakes. “He’s insane,” says the Mare in the Moon.

Shucks says one of his voices says the others need to go where they belong too, including the one in HurryUp. Borealis pops in about then and the voice inside him agrees. “Okie dokie” and Shucks pulls something out of his head and plants it in the shelf they are on. The magma grumbles. HurryUp looks to the right and POP disappears. “What, where did it go?” as HurryUp pops onto another shelf. Borealis pops in too, “There is supposed to be a dagger here, the voice said.” “Can you hold me? I didn’t pop over here,” says HurryUp. “Oh, well ok.” Zero Fail and Shucks grab Prow Lee and fly to the shelf too. “Why’d you go over here.” The Night Dagger has disappeared.”

HurryUp asks if any others are missing…. and Prow Lee pulls out his binoculars and looks about. Just the Dagger is missing. They agree that the other bits need to go where they belong now. POP.

HurryUp and Borealis are in a swamp, there is a pond over there and they can hear the ocean nearby, so Salt Marsh. Borealis sighs and motions that the voice in him is chattering. “The Open Drain needs to be put back to hold back the Deluge,” says the voice in HurryUp’s head. The water about them says she needs to be allowed to join the ocean. HurryUp uses furrycuffs to connect the two and now Borealis is arguing with the voice in his head. “Do we need the lock box?” “No.” More arguing in Borealis’ head. Then he coughs up a drain cover that bounces across the surface of the pond and then lands in the center. The water says “Nooo no nooooo.”

Pop and they are on the moon. “What are you….” says Nightmare Moon. “Where did you get that token?” “I stole it from a Lich.” “Well this is a very interesting development.”

Back in Brindlebury, Prow Lee and Shucks and Zero Fail pop near the group. “We were in the Pit! It is really hot and the voices in my head told me it could burn me.” He tells about the Spere was put back and the Night Dagger is gone. He also says the voice says that the Mare in the Moon took HurryUp to where to get rid of the Big Empty’s token.

Aurora tells where the others were to go, but didn’t know where the Blue Moon should go. Prow Lee tells them. “So with what Shucks said, where is the worst place they could go?” “The Moon.” “I could call her, you know just call her.” They want to save their friend.

On the Moon… a little bell is ringing. “Yes, Ms. Kimblewick?” “There have been some problems here.” “Yes, I know. Unfortunately my sister won. Oh you aren’t in Canterlot, so you don’t know.” Aura asks if her friends have shown up, and could she please send them back. “Of course” She hangs up and goes back to HurryUp and Borealis. She says she can show them the door, but they need to open it to use and hurry before the Dawn comes.

HurryUp opens the doorway and peers through and gets told to get over here, so she jumps through pulling Borealis with her. When the door closes behind her, the Mare in the Moon in her head poofs out cause it can’t leave the moon.

Autumn says they need to sleep and do whatever else later.

Shucks has a headache and wants the voice out “pull the wings off!” Autumn does so and she holding a crystal representation of a storm surge and she has to fight it. Prow Lee imagines a lockbox into existence, then bats the Storm Surge it into the box. “You should have asked a professional to do it.”

The Mare in the Moon calls Aura and asks if her friends got there and when she says yes, she suggests she read the Canterlot Daily.



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